Episode 3
It's Not Facebook, It's You, Ye Bawbag!
In the week that Facebook came under scrutiny once again, Old Man Brown ponders on whether the blame should lie at Facebook and its CEO Mark Zuckerberg, or whether you should be looking at yourself more.
Listen in as he shares his crutchety wisdom in the only way that Old Man Brown can, including unhappy experiences with prostitutes.
Transcript
Hello there.
Old Man Brown:It's me again.
Old Man Brown:So, uh, just a wee thing from the last time I spoke to you.
Old Man Brown:Ah hud a lot o' people write to me and saying, eh, how's your STD, by the way.
Old Man Brown:Ya silly arses, I told you in the show, I didn't have an STD.
Old Man Brown:I didn't have an STD.
Old Man Brown:It was when I was younger, man.
Old Man Brown:When was a teenager?
Old Man Brown:Why would I fucking listen to the show ya eejit!
Old Man Brown:Anyways, onto this week's episode.
Old Man Brown:So I was listening to the news doon the pub with Tam there and
Old Man Brown:he showed me this newspaper aboot this Facebook guy, Mark Zuckerburg.
Old Man Brown:Zachy bigger, whatever the fuck is called anyways, it showed me this newspaper thing
Old Man Brown:aboot this Zuckerburg guy, he's been like Facebook or a whistle blower, aboot the
Old Man Brown:the stuff that Facebook's daein' tae kids and privacy and shit like that and how
Old Man Brown:it's been a really bad place for, for bairns and looking at their mental health.
Old Man Brown:And that's the thing.
Old Man Brown:Cause I mean, mental health is an important issue and I'm not gonna
Old Man Brown:speak bad aboot that at all, but I'll tell you what, you'll get this
Old Man Brown:fucking Mark Zuckerberg person, I don't know if you know him or not.
Old Man Brown:I seen a picture of him or whatever.
Old Man Brown:But if you look at Jesus Christ, it looks like a penis is wearing a
Old Man Brown:wig and like a circumcised penis at that - I mean, have you seen him?
Old Man Brown:What a fucking weird looking thing he is I've never seen
Old Man Brown:anything like it in my life.
Old Man Brown:I'm saying to myself when Tam showed me the story, for fuck's
Old Man Brown:sake people can blame it on the boot, the privacy and all that shit.
Old Man Brown:By a Facebook platforms causing, and then you look at this guy think, how the fuck.
Old Man Brown:Do you want to trust this guy with your privacy and your data?
Old Man Brown:I mean, you just need to look at the man and know that he's someone you report
Old Man Brown:on fucking Crime Watch or something like that for hanging around the schools.
Old Man Brown:He's no' a person you trust just by looking at 'em.
Old Man Brown:You know what I mean?
Old Man Brown:Anyways, I was reading the story, you know, everybody's up in arms
Old Man Brown:about the, all the privacy and all this stuff, and then it was Facebook.
Old Man Brown:For fuck's sake.
Old Man Brown:What are you using it for then?
Old Man Brown:Well, you're on a platform you dinnae even trust, and then you're complaining
Old Man Brown:aboot the fact that that platform is doing things that you didn't trust.
Old Man Brown:I don't understand that that's like saying, well, I'm going to cross the road,
Old Man Brown:but ah dinnae trust the traffic been on the road cause there's a motorway and I'm
Old Man Brown:thinking, what the fuck you want to cross.
Old Man Brown:a motorway when ye ken, that the traffic is busy and you probably die?
Old Man Brown:It's stupid, your brains in your ass.
Old Man Brown:Well, why are you looking at the story again?
Old Man Brown:And I'm thinking I get it.
Old Man Brown:I understand.
Old Man Brown:And everything, but Jesus Christ just fucking leave Facebook.
Old Man Brown:Dinnae sign up for it in the first place.
Old Man Brown:And like dinnae, dinnae, even go back on it if you ken that
Old Man Brown:something's wrong wi' it.
Old Man Brown:And get off and just stop using it.
Old Man Brown:It's not as if you're getting paid to go on and be on every day.
Old Man Brown:Get ootside, take a walk, take a picture of your family, save
Old Man Brown:and share it with your family.
Old Man Brown:Stop uploading it to Facebook ken?
Old Man Brown:Ah really don't know about this.
Old Man Brown:So anyways, that's aw ah've got to say this week.
Old Man Brown:It's no a long one, but it's just as fucking common sense.
Old Man Brown:If you're complaining aboot something you continue to use that thing then how the
Old Man Brown:hell are you going to complain aboot it?
Old Man Brown:That's just daft - that's like paying a prostitute for a nice night and
Old Man Brown:then complaining that ye didnae get your money's worth because you only
Old Man Brown:came once and after 10 seconds, but ye still got charged the full hour.
Old Man Brown:That's your fault for being A, shite in bed and dumb that's I can say.
Old Man Brown:If you didn't want to spend money, have a wank.
Old Man Brown:Ah dinnae even ken.
Old Man Brown:Stop complaining aboot shit that you can have stuff to.
Old Man Brown:Do we not?
Old Man Brown:I mean?
Old Man Brown:Right, till next week, I'll try to leave on a happy note.
Old Man Brown:So on the plus side, at least my false teeth didnae fall in mah beer tonight.
Old Man Brown:You know what I mean, so i'm gonna huv another beer now.
